I feel like I could've written this very post four years ago, when I turned 37. 37's also such a weird liminal age. I know exercise is tough when you're in the trenches, but one thing that's really helped me crawl out of my worst depressive episodes has been my daily morning walks. I feel like my mental health hinges on them, even until now. 40 minutes in the morning, preferably in a nice park where you're surrounded by greenery. Sending you love, Carina. Glad you're writing on here again.💗
Glad you're hanging on to hope despite how hard it is Miss Karina, and I'm also glad to be able to read your writings again. Been a fan ever since your Make-Up Blogging days, and if you're second guessing to write because you feel that people don't need to hear what to say, just know that I (an Internet rando) am really looking forward to the things you write.
Thank you for being so open and honest in your writing, because as someone who's turning 38 this year I feel this in my soul. I love the flexibility of freelancing, but god is it hard to get myself up at a reasonable time when I don't have anyone to be accountable to. I keep telling myself I just ~need a morning routine~ but I never stick to it. I have a long to-do list every day and the vast majority of it just keeps getting pushed to the next day, and the next.
And yet despite that, and at the risk of giving unsolicited advice, one thing I *have* been doing lately is actually trying to tackle my anxiety (I hadn't even realized how bad it was until I had a week of medication-induced panic attacks, which, as you can imagine, were SUPER fun and have landed me in a heightened state of anxiety ever since.) By complete accident I found something called the DARE Method and read the book/have been using the app for the past couple of months. This is going to sound corny as hell, but I am now somehow a person who meditates every morning. I try to take walks in nature every day without headphones and just appreciate the beauty of the world around me, which has been helping to counterbalance the dumpster fire of everything else in the world. Everything might be going to shit, but there are still birds, and we get to hear them sing for FREE. Wild. I share your thoughts about Morning Pages, but I did start a gratitude journal -- every night I briefly summarize my day, and then 3 things that happened that day that I'm grateful for -- I never thought it would make a difference, but honestly just taking some time to focus on good things, no matter how small, has really helped me reframe how I'm feeling (that, and getting put on a low dose SSRI lolll).
Anyway, I'm rambling now. I'm not going to pretend it's not hard. Getting older is terrifying to me, and it sucks that we have to take care of ourselves through it all. I wish I could just delegate it to someone else and not have to force myself every day to make better decisions. I want to be able to look at myself on my 39th birthday next year and just for ONCE not feel like I've wasted another year of my life. But I always think about that quote "the time will pass anyway" and dammit, it's true.
I would not knock meditation, my husband does it every morning and he is decidedly more stable than me! LOL I was in denial of my anxiety, even though I know roughly when it settled into my body. It took me 10 years to get diagnosed because I was in such denial.
I do have a journal I'm meant to fill in after each day, but I'm just a lazy idiot most days and make excuses (eg. "I have no pen, oh no"), but perhaps this is a sign to stick to it.
I will say, though, that improvements, no matter how small, do not seem like wasted year! Rooting for your 39th birthday contentment. :)
I feel like I could've written this very post four years ago, when I turned 37. 37's also such a weird liminal age. I know exercise is tough when you're in the trenches, but one thing that's really helped me crawl out of my worst depressive episodes has been my daily morning walks. I feel like my mental health hinges on them, even until now. 40 minutes in the morning, preferably in a nice park where you're surrounded by greenery. Sending you love, Carina. Glad you're writing on here again.💗
Thank you Chiara. Mark has been trying to get me to walk; maybe I'll start listening to him, lol. Much love to you, too.
Glad you're hanging on to hope despite how hard it is Miss Karina, and I'm also glad to be able to read your writings again. Been a fan ever since your Make-Up Blogging days, and if you're second guessing to write because you feel that people don't need to hear what to say, just know that I (an Internet rando) am really looking forward to the things you write.
Thank you so much, Bom! <3 Glad you are still here.
Thank you for being so open and honest in your writing, because as someone who's turning 38 this year I feel this in my soul. I love the flexibility of freelancing, but god is it hard to get myself up at a reasonable time when I don't have anyone to be accountable to. I keep telling myself I just ~need a morning routine~ but I never stick to it. I have a long to-do list every day and the vast majority of it just keeps getting pushed to the next day, and the next.
And yet despite that, and at the risk of giving unsolicited advice, one thing I *have* been doing lately is actually trying to tackle my anxiety (I hadn't even realized how bad it was until I had a week of medication-induced panic attacks, which, as you can imagine, were SUPER fun and have landed me in a heightened state of anxiety ever since.) By complete accident I found something called the DARE Method and read the book/have been using the app for the past couple of months. This is going to sound corny as hell, but I am now somehow a person who meditates every morning. I try to take walks in nature every day without headphones and just appreciate the beauty of the world around me, which has been helping to counterbalance the dumpster fire of everything else in the world. Everything might be going to shit, but there are still birds, and we get to hear them sing for FREE. Wild. I share your thoughts about Morning Pages, but I did start a gratitude journal -- every night I briefly summarize my day, and then 3 things that happened that day that I'm grateful for -- I never thought it would make a difference, but honestly just taking some time to focus on good things, no matter how small, has really helped me reframe how I'm feeling (that, and getting put on a low dose SSRI lolll).
Anyway, I'm rambling now. I'm not going to pretend it's not hard. Getting older is terrifying to me, and it sucks that we have to take care of ourselves through it all. I wish I could just delegate it to someone else and not have to force myself every day to make better decisions. I want to be able to look at myself on my 39th birthday next year and just for ONCE not feel like I've wasted another year of my life. But I always think about that quote "the time will pass anyway" and dammit, it's true.
I would not knock meditation, my husband does it every morning and he is decidedly more stable than me! LOL I was in denial of my anxiety, even though I know roughly when it settled into my body. It took me 10 years to get diagnosed because I was in such denial.
I do have a journal I'm meant to fill in after each day, but I'm just a lazy idiot most days and make excuses (eg. "I have no pen, oh no"), but perhaps this is a sign to stick to it.
I will say, though, that improvements, no matter how small, do not seem like wasted year! Rooting for your 39th birthday contentment. :)